 A sniveling pig called out to me as he
waltzed by, most likely on his way to work. "I
am Pig-God. Bow before me and lick my face," he
said.
So I said, questioningly, "Why ever are
you dancing, my friend?"
Then he got pissed and his head fell off.
When I saw this, I automatically picked the body
up in my arms the way you would a new born baby,
and made an astonishing 3-point shot in a basket-
ball hoop at least 40 miles away. The kids there
all got jealous because my hair was much better
than anyone's that they knew.
Just then a parade came by and I picked
up a big sharp rock with nails and guns sticking
out all over and threw it at the drummer guy and
he blew up before he had time to talk to that guy
with the funny shoes that was sitting in the
bleachers in this other guy's office in Turkey.
By this time the Pig-God's head was
getting away. His shell was cracking and there was
a turtle in my pants that was getting quite roudy,
so I decided that I'd better get moving.
I ran after the pig head in a most cautious
manner as I did not want to wake up all of the
hippos sleeping in driveways, and on my way I
picked up a new pig body at the local auto-shop
for about two dollars and seventy-three cents. I
had a friendly chat with the manager after
becoming best friends with him and the cannibal they
keep locked up downstairs.
We played six games of tackle basketball and
then I said that I had better get going because I
had god's body and he would be angry if I wasn't
wearing pants. They accompanied me to the helipad,
and I ran to the sidewalk where I left the
strawberries I never had. I couldn't find them so
I cried until the manager bought me the Tonka Truck
I've always wanted. I kissed him and left on my
great journey, leaving him with only sweet memories
that would never be forgotten. I tripped over the
Pig-God's head and the manager laughed at me so I
made a movie about him, just to make him really mad.
Anyway, the Pig-God head, by this time, was
fully grown and had teeth the size of the ones in
his mouth, and I got really scared and made the
piano he was holding into an orchestra that devoured
the Pig-God. They thanked me as they left, and that's
how I got this wind up pig body.
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