In fact, the only requirement to join the Temple of Lith is that A) You don't believe a word of it and B) You lie and say you do. And B isn't a very strict rule... There are several possible exceptions to B which make it very easy to get around:
1) Your life is in danger for claiming you believe in this.
2) It would be a lot of bother to claim such.
3) You don't feel like it.
Rule B therefore is a bit like a guideline that doesn't have to ever be paid attention to, but we like to keep it on the books.
The Greater Gods of Lith:
Lith - Lith is me pretty much. He created all of the lesser and demigods except the ones someone else thought of. He also runs the webpage.
Melissa - Melissa is the goddess of grooviness, and anyone who doesn't believe that is A) a heretic, B) a pagan and C) deservant of a possible tarring and feathering. Melissa is also A) always right and B) has better ideas than Lith.
Some confusion has arisen as to who is the greater deity in the Pantheon, some might, wrongly, assume that because my name was listed first I am of greater status.. In actuality, however, Melissa is the higher Goddess and as such we shall put a picture of her using her divine powers:
Notice the holy light above her hand while doing the magical sign which, while known to Star Trek fans as the vulcan thing with your hands, is a very powerful gesture when used by the deity Melissa.. The visual affect is a ball of bright light, but trust me, it's very very powerful and does all sorts of magical things.
Lesser Gods:
Maleshk, High Protectorate of the Word Groovy - Maleshk is the designated protector sort of God of the word Groovy. Groovy is a Holy Word in the Pantheon of Lith.. Maleshk kind of hangs around and protects the word. In other words: he doesn't do very much. Maleshk is also the designated protector of several other Lesser Holy Words: forsooth, froody (a word that Lith will never use but is decidedly Groovy), and sky particles. Sky Particles is obviously two words and is only considered at all holy when in response to 'what's up?' (a decidedly unholy phrase-question)
The Almighty Bob - Deity from one of the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galxy books who Lith has generously adopted. This may also be the name of the Pet Cat of Lith if the Goddess Melissa doesn't think of a better name. The Almighty Bob is a decidedly groovy deity, and was created by another decidedly groovy individual.
Plenk, King of the Very Lesser Gods - Plenk was promoted from being a Very Lesser God because he is of absolutely no value, which was excellent preperation for his administrative tasks where he is of duplicate value and gets a name and a better title.
Very Lesser Gods:
Prince of Holidays - The Prince of Holidays has a holiday for each day of the year. It is not a requirement to actually observe any particular holidays and it is also not a requirement to tell anyone about the first requirement and, in fact, the Prince of Holidays would like to make it known to all Courts of Law who might hear a case of an individual suing the company for being fired for lying about needing to take the day off for strict religious observances that lying in this manner is to be considered a sort of pilgrimage to the Prince of Holidays, and that 4 million such pilgrimages are required for a devout follower to earn ten points in the Big Afterlife Thing (see afterlife section).
Lord of Not Dealing With it Right Now - Follow this Lord and you get a free religious excuse not to deal with something which might be argued to be 'important' right at the moment.
King Nohatsallowed - King Nohatsallowed is a deity created specially for the [somewhat] great Lith. Others may follow this King, of course, but was created mostly so Lith could tell Melissa it was against his religion to put a hat on.
King Nohomework - A popular deity amongst students. 'Why don't you have your homework?' A) God told me not to or B) I was performing important religious ceremonies. Important religious ceremonies to King Nohomework include A) Doing whatever you like B) not doing anything you don't want to.
The Notaxmeister - Followers of the Notaxmeister know that their house IS a temple and shrine to the great Notaxmeister.
The Illegal But Not Really Immoral Sort of Guy - This is the guy you go to when you've broken the law but haven't really done anything wrong. (Btw, the Supreme Court doesn't buy this, so don't stake your life or fortune on it :P).
The Anti Deities:
What would a religion be without it's Evil Gods.
The Seven (million) Lords of Fascism - Anyone who says or does something that I don't agree with pretty strongly, and whom I also have no respect for otherwise. Stanford, the State of California, people named Ralph, the christian conservative political party (republicans), the commie pinko liberal party (democrats), and The State of New York are all good examples of these.
The Fascists who Convicted Kevorkian - Get their own spot.
Coming Soon to a Religion (Lithism) Near You:
- More gods (maybe).
- A section about the afterlife.
- Possibly other stuff.