Doctor, my wooden leg is giving me a lot of pain.
Why's that?
My wife keeps hitting me over the head with it.
Doctor, my hair's coming out. Can you give me something to keep it in?
Certainly, how about a paper bag?
Doctor, people keep ignoring me!
Next, please.
Doctor, I feel like a bridge.
What's come over you?
Two cars and a bus.
Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a spoon.
Sit there and don't stir.
Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a pack of cards.
I'll deal with you later.
Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dog.
Lie down and I'll examine you.
I can't. I'm not allowed on the furniture.
Doctor, I've lost my memory.
When did it happen?
When did what happen?
